


Lost Without You

by littlebooklion



Category: Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Compliant, Clary Fray & Isabelle Lightwood Friendship, Comfort, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Isabelle Lightwood Ships Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, M/M, Multi, New York City, New York Shadowhunter Institute, Other, POV Isabelle Lightwood, Pandemonium Club (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Post-COHF, Pre-Epilogue, Protective Siblings, Recovery, Sizzy - Freeform, Strong Female Characters, novellas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23852011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebooklion/pseuds/littlebooklion
Summary: In the aftermath of the events of The Dark War, the heroes of Edom struggle to return to normalcy without their favorite mundane-turned-vampire. Lost Without You mainly follows Isabelle's journey, but includes a variety of perspectives. It begins shortly after the Lightwood's return from Alicante at the end of City of Heavenly Fire, and will stay close to canon through Tales of Shadowhunter Academy leading up to The Dark Artifices.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Jocelyn Fairchild/Luke Garroway, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34





	1. Fresh Scars

Izzy was not going to cry. She promised herself that she would keep it together. She looked at herself in her vanity mirror as she applied a thick coating of non-waterproof mascara for the first time in weeks. The gesture felt oddly foreign to her. In the week and a half since she and her family had returned to New York, she’d discovered that all of her old habits and rituals felt as if they belonged to someone else, to a past life… or more specifically a past life that included Simon Lewis. Izzy’s life had undergone so many changes in the past year, it was impossible to adjust. She barely recognized the heartbroken girl looking back at her in the mirror.

It’s often said that you discover a Shadowhunter’s true identity in times of war, but Izzy had decided the past few days that the saying really ought to apply more to the period of time _following_ a war, while the dust is still settling. Pretty much from the second he stepped foot back on New York soil from Alicante, Jace was in the training room. Clary, on the other hand, spent a lot of time with her mom and Luke, and Izzy caught her drawing much more than usual. And well.. if Alec wasn’t at Magnus’, he was following Izzy everywhere, checking in on her at all hours of the night with his characteristic obsessive behavior and overprotective nature. Izzy knew he felt guilty for how everything went down in Edom. Alec, of all people, knew what it felt like to lose someone whose place in your heart could never be replaced. For a brief moment in Edom, it had even looked like Izzy’s fate would have been his.

But the only person who _really_ did know what it felt like to lose Simon was Clary. The girls’ bond had deepened significantly as they grieved him in a strange and unprecedented way. It was one thing to lose someone completely, but to know that somewhere else in the very same city, an illusory version of them out there existed, a version that had nothing to do with you… it was hard to come to terms with. And Izzy, basically, still hadn’t. Clary had heard his voice on the phone call, but Izzy hadn’t. It all felt like a nightmare or a really bad prank that only Simon could pull off. Not that he would… his sense of humor was always in good-taste, at least when Izzy knew what he was referencing.

When Clary had invited Izzy to come with her to Simon’s favorite Taco truck, Izzy initially had resisted. It would only make her miss Simon more. But, realizing she had nothing better to do, she figured this was the closest thing she could get to going to get tacos with her boyfriend… well, ex-boyfriend. Should she be calling him that now? When they had only just DTRed… Realizing another whirlwind of emotions was spiraling up inside of her, Izzy resolved to finish getting ready as fast as possible, before she could let herself get sad again.

Lacing up her boots, Izzy looked herself once over in the mirror. She looked like a mess, but decided that it wasn’t going to get a whole lot better if she just stayed in her room crying all day anymore. She leaned across the vanity to grab her favorite winter hat, and noticed the scar on her neck where Simon had gotten blood. She sighed dramatically, and got her make-up back out. She’d never covered the scar before. It had been a token of her pride in Simon, despite his status as a downworlder. And she knew the scar had bothered her father, which was, admittedly, extra incentive to display it. She loved the scar and had sort of gotten used to thinking that, like a rune, it would be there forever. The reminder was painful now. Trying not to give it a second thought, she dabbed some make-up over it. Without looking back in the mirror, she threw her make-up sponge back in the dresser drawer, grabbed her hat and a coat, and left her dark bedroom behind.

* * *

Clary still hadn’t managed to convince her parents to let her move into the Institute, but she had to admit that it was nice having a place to get away from the messy Shadowhunter world of the Institute for a while. Luke and her mom had been almost as close to Simon as she had, and being with them felt like a small way to be a little closer to him sometimes. Although, in the past few days, her mom’s grieving process had taken a sharp left turn into Bridezilla mode as she channeled all of her desire to fix things into wedding planning. 

Desperate for a way out of picturing a wedding day at the lake without Simon, she had called Izzy and invited her to get tacos. She missed experiencing the mundane parts of the city with Simon, something they had always made an effort to keep up with. She loved her Shadowhunter friends, but sometimes they couldn’t see the city the same way she could. Although nothing in her life had been normal since that night at Pandemonium, something about getting tacos with her best friend seemed like the closest thing she could do. Izzy was the closest thing she still had to Simon, and she knew Izzy felt the same way about her. And she knew Izzy was interested in the Mundie side of New York, specifically things that Simon liked… even if Simon’s idea of the perfect tofu taco was far from Clary or Izzy’s usual tastes. 

As the elevator door into the Institute opened, Clary was shocked to see her friend standing by the elevator door impatiently, already prepared to go. Even going on a taco run in a state of utter despair and misery, Clary thought, Izzy always looked like a badass. In dark brown tights, stiletto boots that could kill, and a form-fitting skirt, Izzy looked more likely to be heading to a bar than to a taco truck. Clary sighed, glancing down at her own disheveled ensemble, and smiled at her friend. Before she could ask how Izzy was doing, Izzy spoke up. 

“I’m done with this whole moping thing. I don’t like it,” Izzy said suddenly.

“Izzy,” Clary eased, “we’ve talked about this! It’s totally normal for us to be upset, to process this weird loss and…”. 

Izzy interjected, “No, no, I _know_. But I just want to spend today with you. I just want to take a break from being sad and spend time with my best friend.”

Clary was always taken aback when Izzy called her that. Not because it wasn’t true - Izzy and Clary were incredibly close, especially lately. And it wasn’t even that she couldn’t believe that she was actually friends with another girl for the first time in her life. Izzy was used to hanging around guys too, so although she was pretty girly, she still shared Clary’s disinterest in the kinds of petty girl competition that Clary had resented since grade school. Clary _mostly_ was taken aback at the way she felt it too. She’d always thought of Simon as her best friend, but she’d realized in the aftermath that Simon wasn’t her best friend. As Jace had pointed out, he was her brother. A constant in her life, someone who understood her past and her worldview in the same way. He’d always been there for her.

Looking into her best friend’s fiery eyes, she knew she’d picked the perfect person to spend a day traipsing about New York with. Crying at the taco truck over Simon wouldn't do his memory any justice. Her Simon wouldn’t have wanted them to mope around about missing him - he would have made a bunch of jokes about how they could have done something a lot more exciting than that. He would have used his friendship to soften the blow. “Ok so… no taco truck?” Clary said optimistically.

“Nope. Not today. We’re going for a ladies’ day. No boys - or boy talk - allowed.” 

Clary was down… but she couldn’t help but think about one boy in particular. “Sounds perfect. Retail therapy and a manicure sounds like heaven right now. But… first I really should check in with Jace. He…” 

Izzy groaned. “Ugh, just be quick. It’s not like the rest of us have amazing boyfriends who desperately want our attention.” Clary knew Izzy was joking, but could also hear the sadness in her friend’s voice. She looked warily at Izzy and then at the hallway behind her. Izzy huffed a laugh. “Sorry, I’m being pathetic again. You know I’m kidding. Go say hi! He’s in the kitchen. But head’s up - mom is in there too, so try to keep in PG.”

Clary laughed. As she passed, she patted Izzy’s shoulder and stopped for a second. “You’re not pathetic. Trust me. Nobody who puts on stilettos at 11 AM _ever_ deserves that title.”


	2. Dresses & Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The women of the New York Institute comfort each other. Izzy and Clary go shopping!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming back! Hope you enjoy!

The Institute's kitchen was hidden off the main hallway. Clary always thought about how weird it was to have the kitchen be behind a normal set of bedroom doors - in the mundane world, kitchens are always the center of the home’s lifeblood where everyone congregates. But to Shadowhunters, it was more of a utility room than a social hotspot. That was usually reserved for the training rooms or the den. Still, at certain points of the day, you could usually hear voices pouring out of the kitchen along with the clanging of pots or, more often for the Lightwoods, the rustling of Taki’s take-out packaging. But right now, just like Isabelle had warned, Maryse’s voice flowed from the kitchen. 

“... and I think we should be doing more Patrols over there. With all the mundanes congregating there, it just seems…”

Clary stepped into the room and immediately noticed Jace. He was cleaning out a coffee pot at the sink and his eyes lifted to meet hers as she entered the room. The dim lighting of the room made his blond hair look less golden than it usually did and the way it tussled haphazardly informed Clary that he had already trained this morning. His face broke out into a smile as he took her in, placing the coffee pot in the sink with a small thud, and came around the counter to meet her closer to the doorway. 

“Hey,” Clary said brightly as she rose up onto the balls of her feet to give him a kiss on the cheek. 

“I hear you’re going out with Izzy? Good idea- she was not in the best of spirits this morning. I was forced to tease her to try and make her laugh, which is not so easy to do right now with all this ‘having to be sensitive and careful’ stuff. My charm has its limits,” Jace quipped. Clary shook her head in disbelief and let out a giggle. It was good that Izzy had so many people looking out for her, especially brothers like Alec and Jace who could decode her moods so well. Clary was not quite proficient at that yet. “This is the part where you admit that I _am_ sensitive and charming,” Jace prompted jokingly.

“Ok, ok. You’re sensitive and charming. And annoying,” Clary rolled her eyes dramatically. “What’s on the docket for you today?”

“What’s a docket?” interrupted a voice. It was Maryse. She sat at the head of the kitchen table with a bowl of oatmeal and a file folder in front of her. She didn’t look up from reading the file, but apparently had been listening.

“Oh, ummm,” Clary started to explain, “it’s like a plan, or a… schedule. A figure of speech, I guess.”

“Ah,” said Maryse, flipping the page of one of her folders. 

“Well,” said Jace. “ I already did some training today. Then I have to patrol in a bit, and I’ll probably go for a run. Nothing too exciting. But don’t worry, I’ll try not to miss you too much,” he said with a wink and reached out to touch her back gently. “Maryse and I were just talking about the patrol rotations, actually. We were saying that we’re definitely going to need you out there by yourself more. I think you’re ready for that.” 

He sounded so sure, so encouraging. Sometimes it shocked Clary that someone so good at being a Shadowhunter could be so patient with others. He really was a great trainer- always honest, willing to help, and never condescending. “Yeah,” she shrugged. “If you think I’m ready?”

He smirked. “Isn’t it nice to have the luxury of deciding that you’re ready?” he reflected. “You’re as much a Shadowhunter as anyone. Of course you’re ready.” He looked down at her lovingly, and it made her forget that there was anyone else in the world. 

“Great,” interjected Maryse, startling Clary again. “I’ll make sure we put you into the rotations more often. I’m getting worried that the Clave will start sending us more Shadowhunters to train- ascending Sight-bearers, orphaned children of the Endarkened and such…” she trailed off. Her face suddenly looked heartbreakingly like Izzy’s did sometimes - all the muscles stilled, eyes empty of warmth. And then she swallowed deeply, her eye level rising on the wall behind Clary where her gaze was fixed . “I just don’t think we’re ready for that, right now.” 

Clary nodded somberly. Sometimes she forgot that on top of everything with Simon and the Lightwood’s divorce and the traumas of Edom, the Lightwoods were also still coping with the loss of Max. It hadn’t been that long ago that the sweet little boy had been killed by Sebastian. Clary felt Jace’s hand rubbing her back softly, and turned to look up at him. She knew he was grieving too, in his own way, but he had been such a rock for her through everything. She knew Maryse felt the same - she’d really mended her relationship with Jace, Clary thought. 

“That’s why reopening Shadowhunter Academy is such a great idea,” said Jace. “There needs to be a neutral place for those kids to be together and train without needing to take resources and focus away from Institutes that are already struggling. Plus, I know the Clave plans on recruiting and that’s a whole big ordeal.” 

“You know how I feel about the Academy,” interjected Maryse. 

“Yeah, I just think we should consider it,” responded Jace.

“Well, when you’re an adult member of the Clave, you can bring it up,” Maryse said somewhat indifferently then took a bite of her oatmeal. There was a reason Robert was the one who went into Shadowhunter politics. Although she had heard from her mother that Maryse was once very outspoken, it often amazed Clary that the woman running the Institute with such nonchalance for Clave policy could have raised the Lightwood kids, who could all talk passionately about Clave politics for hours. 

“Hey, wait... I forgot,” Jace said with a sudden change of tone, looking down at Clary. “You left your stele in my room yesterday.”

“Oh, I…” Clary could have sworn her stele was inside the cuff of her jeans, where she always stored it. And she thought back quickly on the events of the day before, and was pretty sure she hadn’t been in Jace’s room. 

Before she could say anything else, Jace spoke again. “Why don’t you come grab it before you leave with Izzy?” 

Suddenly realizing what was going on here, Clary nodded at Jace before glancing at Maryse. “Oh, yeah I should. It’s definitely not a good idea for me to be out in the city without it.” Jace grabbed his phone off the table, and headed for the door. Clary started to follow, when Maryse spoke up from across the room.

“Thanks for being such a good friend for Izzy right now,” she said. “I know it means a lot to her.”

Clary was taken aback. Neither of the Lightwood parents were the type to give many compliments. Like Alec, they seemed not to often express much appreciation for people outside of their family and close friends. Maryse often barely noticed Clary, or any of her children’s friends, unless it was something for work or training that required her attention. The opposite of Jocelyn, really… and not always in a bad way. Once Clary got over the initial shock of being acknowledged in this way, she figured she ought to respond. “Izzy’s been a great friend for me, too. All your children actually. I’m really grateful for… having such good friends right now.”

“I’m sure,” Maryse replied softly, and returned to her files. 

* * *

Izzy waited in the foyer for ten minutes. At minute seven, she was almost ready to go bang on Jace’s door and demand Clary be returned to her, but she decided against it. She couldn’t blame Clary and Jace for wanting to check in with each other, especially when they were both going through so much. She scrolled through her phone, despite the fact that she knew no new notifications would be waiting for her. She was on the verge of planking or re-organizing the many weapons hidden in her clothes when Clary and Jace finally emerged into the hallway. 

“Sorry,” said Clary, bounding ahead of Jace. 

“It’s okay,” said Isabelle as she straightened herself up. “Really.” The two girls buttoned up their coats. Jace, taking Clary’s hand and rolling up her sleeve, applied a rune for warmth. 

“Be safe, you two,” he said. One hand still in Clary’s, he brushed back a tendril of her hair with the other. “Have you got enough weapons on you?” he asked dotingly. 

“Yup, I’m good. I’ll see you tonight?” Clary responded.

“How come you never ask _me_ if I have enough weapons?” Izzy interjected jokingly. Being around those two just always made you feel like the third-wheel. 

“I worry about you, Iz, for many reasons. But not having enough weapons will never be one of them,” said Jace with a smile. Clary kissed him on the cheek and pressed the down button on the elevator. Izzy followed, and whiffs of her perfume floated through the air behind her. As the elevator’s cage closed, Jace called after them, “See you ladies, later. If you happen to come across any demons, think of me as you cut off their heads!” 

“We will. Bye, babe,” Clary said with a wave as the elevator sunk into the floor below.

* * *

“It looks really good on you,” Clary offered. After a stop at a make-up boutique a few blocks away and a huge haul at an expensive mundane athletic wear store, Izzy had dragged Clary into this store, insisting it was one of her favorites. The walls of the store were covered with fabrics of deep red, sultry purples and dark blacks… Clary was not surprised that Izzy liked this store. She perused a few of the racks, feeling the soft fabric of a sweater and holding up a mesh top to the light on its hanger, but didn’t feel compelled to try anything on. 

Being in this fancy mundane business made Clary hyper aware of the huge lifestyle changes of the past year. A year ago, Clary never would have wound up in a shop like this. She’d had no interest in wearing anything besides jeans and converse, or coming this far uptown, but she also hadn’t had money - either her own or from her mother. After the war, Clary and the other heroes had been more than handsomely reimbursed for their sacrifices, but truth be told, she had no idea what to do with it. She already had more art supplies than she knew what to do with. Saving up for college was a thing of the past. Plus, she and Jace had both just inherited huge assets from their respective families, so there was no need to save up for a future apartment. She was beginning to realize why money was never a concern for the Shadowhunters she knew. 

Izzy had no problem in finding ways to spend her share of reward money. Before Clary, she stood in front of the store’s large mirror in a form-fitting jett black dress. The halter neckline highlighted Izzy’s sharp collarbone and the two-layered skirt of the dress was spliced, revealing the skin of Izzy’s thigh from underneath. Turning to peer over her shoulder again, Isabelle spoke up. “No, I have a dress just like this. Actually two.” She shrugged, and headed for the door of the dressing room. “Buuuut” Izzy sang, whipping back around, her hand already on the zipper. “Maybe you could try it on? For your date tonight?”

Clary was about to refuse, but she noticed a lightness and a hope in Izzy’s eyes that hadn’t been there in a while. “You know, he really likes when I dress you up,” argued Izzy. 

“Yeah, but we probably aren’t doing anything dressy tonight, I think we’re just…”

“Nope,” interrupted Izzy. “Not anymore. ‘Don’t have somewhere to be, then make one’ - that’s what I always say!” She whipped out her cell phone, fingers already frantic on the keys, as she disappeared into the dressing room. “You’re trying this on!” her voice called over the stall door. Clary stood up, just in time to catch the dress as Isabelle flung it over the top of the door. Izzy’s voice muffled periodically as she redressed through the door. “You really have got to keep that boy on his toes. I mean, you guys finally can be a normal couple and you _aren’t_ off celebrating in Paris already? That’s where I’d be. I’m not letting you waste a drop of romance on a perfectly good Friday night.” 

“Actually, it’s a Thursday.”

“Who cares!” Izzy huffed as she opened the door suddenly. She exhaled sharply. “Listen, I just think you should try on the dress. That’s all.” 

Clary smiled at her passionate friend. “Fine,” she relented. She hadn’t meant to give Isabelle so much trouble, but it felt more like a rite of passage at this point. Clary had known the second Isabelle had dragged her into the store that she would end up in one dress or another. With the dress in hand, Clary stepped into the dressing room. She came out a minute later, traipsing up to look at her appearance in the mirror. The dress fit her differently than Izzy, but still looked good. It hit her waist perfectly, and the skirt rustled softly on her thigh. “It’s… actually cute,” she admitted. 

“See!’ exclaimed Isabelle, who stood with her arms crossed close to the mirror. “Should I send Jace a picture?” she teased. 

Before Clary could protest, Izzy’s demeanor shifted suddenly. Her face dropped as her hand shot up to the ruby pendant at her neck. “Shax,” cursed Izzy under her breath. Already extracting a seraph blade from her boot, she considered Clary’s dress. “Guess you’re leaving in that dress after all - we’ve got a demon to take care of.”


	3. Big Thursday Night Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A turn of events disrupts Izzy and Clary's Thursday night plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you give this story a follow to get updates when I post a new chapter! Thanks for all of the love so far!

Two dead demons, three hours, and a long chase uptown later, Izzy and Clary found themselves on the way back to the Institute exhausted. They both decided to take the subway back, and were heading, bedraggled, back to the Institute. Isabelle inspected her nails, suddenly glad they had not made it to getting manicures before it all transpired. She was also very grateful that her Lululemon purchases from earlier had been able to fit inside her jacket pocket, because fighting a demon with a shopping bag was just not practical, and otherwise she would have had to dump the bag. And that would have sucked. “At least we’re already glamoured,” she thought out loud, as they reached the stairs to go down into the subway. 

“True,” said Clary. Except for when evil was chasing her, Clary still used her subway pass when she was glamoured, but she’d grown to really appreciate being glamoured on the subway and thus not having to deal with homeless people asking her for money or creepy men staring at her legs. That was a nice, unexpected plus. 

Finding two empty seats in a quieter section of the subway car, the two girls sat next to each other. Clary noticed, as she sat down, that she was still wearing the dress from earlier. It had held up surprisingly well - no obvious ichor or blood stains - but a rip on the side had deepened the splice already in it, making Clary extra glad no subway urchins could see her. She sighed, flopping her head back on the back of the seat.

“So much for a girl’s day out,” lamented Isabelle, sliding her feet on the dusty floor. All Clary could do was grunt in agreement. “It was silly of us to think that trouble wouldn’t follow us for once.”

Sitting in companionable silence until the next stop, the girls both daydreamed of a shower and some warm tea with dinner. As a horde of middle school boys stepped into the car, Clary immediately was flooded by memories of Simon. Simon with his band making their way through New York with no cares except what the newest name would be for their group. Simon taking her to visit the record shop in this part of town. Simon helping her study on the way to school in the morning.

Clary lifted her head from the back of the seat. “Simon used to look like that… with his guy friends. He could just blend into groups like that. I never was able to do that. He was like… my only friend. But I never felt left out. I knew that he would always let me tag along, whenever I needed.”

Isabelle was studying the ichor on her boots with strange interest. The doors to the subway car whooshed closed, and the car launched back into motion. Clary jostled against Isabelle, and another moment of silence passed. 

“I thought we weren’t talking about boys today,” said Isabelle sadly. 

“We weren’t. I just…”

“I was thinking the same thing. That they reminded me of him.”

“Yeah,” agreed Clary. Stoically, Isabelle adjusted her hair and played with the waistband of her skirt, as if she was still trying to uphold some sort of appearance of being put-together. “You know, Izzy,” said Clary gently, “you don’t have to pretend with me.”

Isabelle swallowed, her hands returning to her side. Izzy could still feel her fingers itching to fix things, could still feel the urge to hide under her usual fortress of strength. She didn’t trust herself to speak. 

“I’m going to be honest, it’s killing me right now that Simon isn’t here with us,” said Clary eventually, looking at Izzy’s face from the side. “My chest has this big pit in it and the world just feels a little upside down and I don’t know what to do with that. I keep thinking that I just need another cup of caffeine or another hug and it will subside, but I keep having to remind myself that it will ever be that easy. I don’t think this is the kind of pain that just goes away. Not for a long time.”

A tear, softly, fell down Izzy’s face, and then another. Izzy’s eyelids fought the water pooling inside of her eyes for another half a second before an eruption of tears started streaming down her cheeks. “Yeah, I know. I just…” Izzy choked on her tears, sucking in the snot that was fighting to escape as well. “I want to be strong for myself. I did just fine without him before and…”

Clary cut her off. “That’s not how love works. You can’t just erase your feelings once you’ve given your heart away,” she said gently. “I tried to control my feelings. That’s, er, how I ended up dating Simon, actually.” She grunted, frustrated, searching for the right words. “My point is: neither of us can go back to how things were before all of… _this_ . We’ve been changed by love, by our experiences, _by each other_. You might have been fine before, but you didn’t know what you were missing. And now you do, and you’re allowed to be really really upset about that.” Letting that off her chest, Clary collapsed with a heavy breath into her seat a little deeper.

“It’s absolute torture,” Izzy finally shared, “that we can’t go back, but _his_ life just… resets. Without us.”

The girls sat in silence for a minute, both pondering the literal demon-inflicted cruelty of their situation. After another moment, Clary spoke up. “But it’s also beautiful, isn’t it. That we have these… memories of him that even Asmodeus himself couldn’t take away from us. That we got to be touched by someone so full of life and goodness? We might never move on or be the same, but that’s also a sign that we are carrying Simon’s legacy forward.” 

“I guess,” said Izzy skeptically. Isabelle was more of a realist, but Clary had seemed to be having an easier time coping. Izzy realized then that it wasn’t a blindness to the truth, but a slightly different attitude towards it. She pondered Clary’s positive outlook another minute. “He would have liked being a hero,” she shared.  
  


“He already was one, though.” 

  
“Oh, I know,” said Izzy. “But I mean the save-the-universe-and-get-a-statue-with-its-own-bow-and-arrow kind of hero.”

“Yeah, he really would have,” Clary agreed. Remembering with bittersweet nostalgia, she envisioned the kind of hero ceremony that twelve year old Simon would have wanted. “What do you say we watch _A New Hope_ tonight? To celebrate Simon?”

“Clary,” Izzy said disapprovingly, “I’m not watching my ex-boyfriend’s favorite movie _by myself_ on a Thursday night. That’s just depressing.”

“No,” explained Clary, “like we’d watch it together.”

“But you have your date!” Isabelle protested. 

Clary shook her head quickly. “Let’s be real,” she denied, “I would have spent the whole time crying about Simon and Jace would feel awful and have to remember Simon too and - did you know they were actually really close, by the way? I thought they just joked around and amicably tolerated each other for us, but… Anyways, my point is, it’s not like Jace and I had this big glamorous night planned and I know you wanted to give that to us, but that’s just not my priority right now. It can’t be. We’re all grieving, and sometimes it’s healthy to pretend that we aren’t but not all the time.”

Izzy nodded. “Ok. Yeah,” she spoke softly. “That’s good - because I really do want to watch _Star Wars_ with you. I think you’ll actually be a lot better at explaining it than Simon was. He was pretty awful at dumbing it down for me, which was cute, but also super confusing.”

Clary chuckled, and before long, Clary had launched into a lecture on the difference between a Jedi and a Sith.

* * *

When the girls, dirty and bedraggled, finally arrived back at the Institute, it was almost six o’clock in the evening. Clary went immediately to go check in with Jace and let him know that she was going to spend the evening with Izzy. She knocked on his door, assuming by the light music that flowed through the door that he was inside. 

“Coming!” said his voice from inside. The door swung open, revealing an energized Jace in the middle of putting on an already half-buttoned blue shirt. “Is this too casual, 'cuz Izzy said… woah! Nice dress. You look hot, but wait… you’re dirty… are you…”

Clary finally explained. “Yeah, funny story. Not long into our fun, two Scorpios demons decided to have a fun game of tag all the way uptown. There was slithering, there was running, there was slime and dirt and ichor. You know how it is. But Izzy made me try on this dress right before we were carried off on the chase and… oh, Shax! I never paid for the dress! And ugh, it’s been a long day. I would have texted you, but a demon ate my phone.”

Jace looked down at her, eyes wide, listening intently. “Well…” he said unsure of what to say, “I’m glad you made it back okay. How’d you finally get 'em?”

Jace was literally the only person who would ask that question. “First one met Izzy’s whip. I got the other one with a dagger from behind.”

“That’s my girl!” he replied. “Do you need an iratze?” 

Clary reached up to touch his cheek softly, brushing a strand of hair out of his face. “No, I think I’m fine,” she said. “It’s weird, isn’t it? Not fighting together?”

Jace chuckled, but shook his head in consideration before saying, “It’s always a little weird not being with you.”

“I know what you mean,” said Clary in agreement. Sometimes it amazed her that in less than a year, she could feel like a piece of her was missing without him. The thought, however, made her start to picture another boy who she’d known her entire life, whose girlfriend was probably already ordering the pizza for their girl’s night. “Anyways, Izzy is having a really bad day and I think - much as I want to go out with you tonight obviously - I think I need to be with her tonight.”

“You mean I started to make myself look _even prettier_ for nothing? And then you come parading by my room in this dress to tease me? Come on, Fray!” joked Jace. Then he pulled her in towards him, brushing away her long red hair, and kissed her reassuringly. “That sounds like a good decision. She needs us right now.”

Leaning into him with her forearms on his chest, Clary looked up at Jace wondering how she got so lucky to have such a patient, caring boyfriend. She agreed, going in for another kiss. 

“What are you guys going to do? Have you eaten yet?” asked Jace, breaking it off. 

“Oh, we were just going to watch _Star Wars_ and eat pizza and ice cream. And probably cry. That will probably happen too.”

“Ah, that does tend to happen a lot lately,” Jace noted, then pointed out, “I happen to like pizza and _Star Wars_. I can’t really say the same for crying, but there are worse ways to spend an evening.”

Clary thought about the no boy talk rule, and about how Izzy really wanted Clary and Jace to have a nice night together. Then she decided, “I suppose you could crash, if you want to. We might make you cry to initiate you, though.”

“Yeah, sounds like a deal,” he said. It suddenly felt right to Clary that he would join. Clary knew that Jace was coping with all of the loss in his own way - had actually seen him weep and express grief over Simon and all of the Shadowhunters lost. Sometimes she forgot that underneath all of his strength was a heart just as sensitive as her own. He needed her tonight, just like Izzy, and Clary needed both of them. They could all miss Simon together. “But first, you need to wash off all of that dirt and ichor off,” said Jace.

“Yeah,” agreed Clary. “Actually, I just feel like I should go bring this dress back. The tag is still on and if I just hand wash it... I should Portal there and drop it off. It just feels wrong.” 

“No, I think you should keep it. We can just go pay for it tomorrow,” said Jace.

“I guess,” considered Clary uncomfortably. “I just don’t want them to think I took the dress. It’s Izzy’s favorite store and we weren’t glamoured so… I don’t know.”

Jace stroked her shoulder. “Say no more. I’ve got it. I’ll go give them money and charm them into believing you had urgent business. You just hop in the shower and get comfy - I’ll be back before you know it.”

Clary sagged with relief. She rose up onto her toes and gave Jace a kiss on the cheek, then on his nose. “You’re the best,” she told him. 

“I know,” he said confidently, and started to take off down the hall. 

* * *

Jace was pretty sure he knew what store Clary was referring to. He realized, after walking halfway there, that Clary did not have a phone anymore and thus could not answer his texts to confirm. He’d tried calling Izzy, but she must have been in the shower, and The Angel knows how long Izzy takes to shower. Not knowing who else to call, he dialed his parabatai, thinking at least he owed Alec a phone call that day.

Alec picked up right away. “Jace. Everything alright?” Hearing Alec’s voice always put Jace at ease, like the particles in his body could recognize Alec on their own. 

“Yeah, yeah. Actually, I have a weird question. Umm, you know that store Izzy likes over by the brunch place? She still shops there, right?”

Alec broke out into laughter. “What prompted _this_?! Wow, I think you guys really need me at the Institute if the girls have got you to be shopping for clothes at this hour. Wait - are you like… actually shopping? You can borrow my clothes, if you need.”

“No,” shut down Jace. Still strolling through the streets without a glamour, he suddenly noticed the eyes of about a dozen mundanes on him and lowered his volume. “Clary and Izzy were there earlier today and Clary had to leave without paying because of demons. So I chivalrously offered to go deal with it, only I can’t seem to remember what it’s called. Or if I’m thinking of the right store.”

“Ah, of course” said Alec with a hint of surprise in his voice. “Well, I’m not sure this is any help, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from dating a shopaholic, it’s that customer loyalty is very much a thing. So it’s probably the right store - the one you’re thinking about.”

It did not make Jace feel any more confident, but he decided he would figure it out. “Sounds good. Okay, sorry to interrupt, I’m sure, a nice evening with Magnus.”

“Wait,” Alec spoke. A pause followed as Jace waited for Alec to continue. “How are you doing?” Alec asked honestly, all the conversation’s earlier humor gone.

“I’m…” Jace reflected carefully, “I’m doing okay. Today was weird. I usually would hang out with Simon when the girls do their own thing, and it was lonely. And mom is… she’s not doing well. I mean none of us are. Really.”

Alec made a crushed noise over the phone. “I wish I could have been there today,” admitted Alec. 

Jace disagreed. “No, Alec, you are working so hard, you and Magnus.” Alec and Magnus had been working with Downworlders to update them on the Nephilim’s situation, on the Cold Peace. It was exhausting work, Jace knew. And Jace also knew Magnus had been wracked with guilt about the events of Edom, blaming the whole thing on himself. Alec had needed to be there for Magnus - all of the Lightwoods understood that.

Jace could tell that Alec still felt torn, but he agreed. “Please take care of yourself. Do something fun tonight, all of you,” offered Alec to his parabatai. 

“We will,” agreed Jace, and the two said their goodbyes and hung up. Jace was nearing the corner to the mundane shop. He entered confidently, pretty sure he was right. 

Three stores later, Jace finally had managed to find the right one and charmed his way into getting his girlfriend un-blacklisted. He felt the sudden urge to stop and buy the girls some flowers as he passed a small sidewalk florist. Handing three bouquets to the cashier - one for Clary, one for Isabelle, and one for Maryse - he checked his phone for the time, and noticed three text messages from Isabelle. It was nearly seven o’clock. 

_Where r u?,_ read the first. _Pizza is here - don’t underestimate ur gfs ability to eat all of it,_ said the next, and the last said, _oh, this is clary btw._

Jace shook his head, clutching the three bouquets at his side, and finished his way home at a brisker pace. He realized, sadly, that under normal circumstances, he would have been the happiest he’d ever been. No demon was possessing his mind, making him go crazy. He had the world’s best girlfriend, and a family who loved him. But he’d lost people - people whom he really had loved. He thought of Simon and vowed silently to look out for the people Simon had cared about most in this world. It was the least he could do, and he definitely would have done it anyway, but still… Jace promised he would make Simon - the old Simon he knew and loved - proud.


	4. The City That Never Sleeps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary and Jace can't sleep.

The next week was filled with lots of long sessions in the training room. Clary and Izzy found a new hobby in sparring with each other using archaic Shadowhunter weapons, mostly because it annoyed Jace who insisted that there was, apparently, a right and a wrong way to hold an enchanted candelabra. Sometimes Alec came by, but most of the hours were passed just ignoring the world beyond the walls of the training room. 

It was jarring for Clary to go from that safe space back to her parent’s apartment downtown. Every day, she would finally return to Luke’s in the late evening, exhausted and smelly from training. Her mom usually left some dinner out for her on the counter to reheat, and she’d find Luke falling asleep to a basketball game in front of the television. It was an odd routine to settle into, strangely adapted from her old life but not quite separate from her new reality full of world-saving adventures. 

As Clary slumped in front of the cold mac and cheese Jocelyn had left out for her hours before, not bothering to heat it up in the microwave, she couldn’t help but think about how odd her mother’s thoughtful gesture seemed now. For years, Clary had eaten dinner just like this: coming in from a day out with Simon while the smell of paint wafted into the kitchen from her mother working in the other room. And then, so quickly, that _normal_ had been completely upturned, leaving Clary to spend weeks praying her mother was even alive and thinking Luke was a traitor. Now, Jocelyn and Luke were, obnoxiously, fully _in love_ and incredibly invested in knowing everything Clary was up to. It was all a little disorienting. Clary wasn’t ungrateful or annoyed at their protective and doting actions - she loved them and was really excited that the two of them finally had gotten together. But she felt, more than ever, between two worlds. A world in which Simon and her parents took care of her and shielded her from harm, and a world that had taken her best friend from her and thrust her into the role of fighter and leader. Could she ever find a way to be the independent, feisty hero without giving up on her past? She ate the mac and cheese anyway. 

When she was done, she put her bowl and fork in the dishwasher and went to go take a shower. She nudged Luke as she passed him on the sofa, indicating that he should go to bed. He mumbled something incomprehensible, and seemed to start to get up, although his eyes stayed closed. Knowing he would probably fall asleep there anyway, Clary continued into the bathroom.

Emerging twenty minutes later, Clary felt refreshed and clean. She threw on an old concert t-shirt, fuzzy socks, and gray sweatpants, getting ready for bed. It was barely nine, but considering that she had nowhere else to be, it seemed time to retire to the coziness of her bed to watch some Netflix. Plopping on top of the pillows, she became aware of the soreness throughout her body as each muscle nuzzled into the fluffy mattress beneath her. Clary peeled back her soft pale peach sheets and slid her legs under the covers, feeling her socks bunch a little underneath. Clary almost laughed to herself as she adjusted her socks with a wiggle of her toes- Jace always mocked Clary for wearing socks to bed. She suddenly felt lonely without him beside her, wishing for his warmth and reassuring voice. 

Getting sleep had been hard since she’d returned from Edom. Many nights, she had laid in bed for hours, eyes wide open in the dark, tossing and turning while her mind replayed the most gruesome moments of the Dark War. Heosphoros going into Sebastian’s impossibly warm-blooded torso, the sadness in Luke’s eyes as he took in his endarkened sister Amatis, the grief on the faces of the youngest Blackthorn children when they learned their fates. Remembering all of the moments made it difficult to allow herself to be still and sleep peacefully.

One afternoon, laying in the park with Jace, Clary had fallen asleep while he stroked her hair. She’d been embarrassed, but admitted that the nightmares haunting her imagination had made it impossible for her to sleep. She had expected him to think she was being ridiculous or to brush it off. It’s not like she really thought someone as fearless as Jace would have nightmares. But he understood completely, admitting his own inconsistent sleeping patterns and reminding her that he had never been able to sleep easily, especially when Lilith had been getting into his head. He remembered once trying some herbal tea that Magnus had prescribed him once, wondering if its initial lack of effect was actually because having a greater demon inside your mind is obviously an entirely different problem than insomnia. The tea hadn’t helped Clary, nor counting sheep. And even though she knew she should probably stop laying there and try to do something that would help, she usually just laid there in the dark, wishing she was anywhere else in space and time than alone in the dark at three in the morning.

She wasn’t optimistic about tonight, obviously, but she hoped her exhausted body would yield better results than the previous few nights had. Clary pulled out her phone and watched _The Great British Baking Show_ on Netflix until around eleven when her eyelids started to droop and she finally convinced herself to give sleep a try.

* * *

It was nearing midnight when Jace finally decided that sleep would not be coming. He had never been great at shutting off his hyperactive mind, and coping with all of the trauma of the past few months had been no exception. The first few nights after returning from Edom, the exhaustion had finally gotten to him, allowing a few hours of peaceful nothingness, but that eventually wore off, leaving Jace to make the familiar decision to abandon his bed for some late night company.

Drawing on a quick Silence rune on his wrist, he slid out of bed and switched on the bedside lamp. His eyes adjusted immediately to the light as it filled the room, as if he had never been in the darkness anyway. He threw on a sweatshirt and left the solitude of his room behind.

The stone of the Institute hallway was cold under his feet as he made his way down the hallway. He passed Izzy’s door, knowing he shouldn’t wake her. Izzy had always been someone who needed a lot of rest. Even as a tween, Maryse had always encouraged Izzy to take naps when she got cranky, and it always seemed to make Izzy more agreeable and patient. Jace would never interrupt her with his own worries, and _certainly_ would never bother Maryse. The Lightwoods were his family, but he would never stop feeling like an imposter child to them. He always wanted to be the brave one, the good Shadowhunter child who didn’t whine about demons haunting them in the night. Alec, maybe, he could have bothered as a kid. Young Jace might have felt comfortable curling up with a single pillow on Alec’s floor when he was having a nightmare, knowing Alec wouldn’t ask questions in the morning when he found Jace beside him.

But Alec didn’t live in the Institute anymore - not permanently, at least. Which left Jace no other options. He kept walking, past the other bedrooms, even passing the music room, where he might have previously wasted a few night hours getting lost in the lullabies of Brahms or Bach, and past the library and the training room. 

Passing the guest rooms, he recalled a sleepless night not too long ago when he had found Clary in this hallway. She’d been with Simon, but had followed him to the garden like it was the most natural thing in the world. He’d kissed her for the first time that night, and even with Simon making things more complicated, Jace still had known that night that something impossibly right was starting. Clary had a way of making his heart race but could also make it relax completely. When everything had gone wrong with Lilith, he’d actually turned to Simon, seeking solace in Jordan and Simon’s place whenever he felt lonely. He’d come to trust Simon, sort of like he had long ago come to trust Alec, slowly letting himself forgo the jokes and sarcasm and allowing himself to reveal a little more of himself everyday. He’d kill for another moment with Simon in that apartment now. Jace sighed at the memories. 

Heading for the end of the main hallway, Jace whipped out his phone. There was only one person he could find comfort in tonight. And he knew, without a doubt in his heart, that she would be waiting for him with open arms. 

_U up?,_ he texted, fingers dashing across the keys without a second thought. Jace grabbed some shoes by the door, and got in the elevator. Exiting the Institute and stepping out onto the cool, winter New York street, Jace wasn’t surprised when a buzz came a moment later from the pocket of his sweatshirt.

 _Of course_ , the first text read. _Come over?_ , read the second. A small grin spreading across his face, Jace made his way across town to be with the girl he loved.

* * *

Not wanting to wake up Luke on the couch, Clary had unlocked the door and told Jace to let himself in. He was much quieter than her, and although she supposed he could have snuck in through her window -he’d done it before- that just felt unnecessary when he was already super-humanly silent. Waiting in her moonlit bedroom, Clary let her slightly tangled red hair out of its messy bun, smoothing her curly locks with her fingers, and sprayed on some perfume, hoping to mask the smell of sweat the multi-layered bed covers had produced on her skin. It was still so new to Clary, having someone who made her mind and body race like this. Especially after Edom, her relationship with Jace had felt somehow even more surreal as she watched so many other people around her suffer from loss and heartbreak, even dealt with it herself. She was so lucky to have someone, still, who would think about her in the wee hours of night, to know her heart so well he could almost sense from across the city that she needed him. 

Thinking she heard a faint knock on the door, Clary turned and he was there. Jace, in gray sweatpants and a black hoodie, his eyes wide and the faint light from the window illuminating tufts of his golden hair. He broke into a smile. “I knew you were awake,” he said softly. “Are you sure it’s okay that I’m here?”

“Yes,” she said almost breathlessly. “I don’t really care if my mom gets mad. I can’t sleep.”

He chuckled, reaching out to embrace her. Her head nuzzled into his chest as he stroked her hair gently. For a moment, they just stood there together, not needing to say anything, each relaxing in the other’s presence. Finally, Jace said, “Me too. Can’t sleep without you little munchkin, unfortunately. I kept remembering…” 

“Yeah,” she agreed. They both did their best to push out a million images from their memories- Clary sitting at a throne beside Sebastian, Jace writhing in agony after Clary stabbed him with a sword of heavenly fire, and Simon in a million different moments. Suddenly, Clary looked up at Jace. “I want milk,” she spoke decisively, a little louder than before. 

“Okay,” he shrugged, unfazed by her sudden change in topic.

Clary pulled him to the kitchen, passing the snoring Luke in the living room on the way. The kitchen was dark, lit only by the light of a single window behind the sink, but Clary didn’t dare turn on the lights. The room was small, but decently sized for a Brooklyn apartment, with an island in the center. Jace, careful not to make a sliding sound with the floor, pulled out one of the two stools from under the island and plopped onto it casually. Clary opened the fridge slightly, producing a liter of milk from inside. As she went to get the cups, Jace leaned across the counter, taking the milk and shaking it with one hand. Clary pulled herself up onto the counter, sitting cross-legged as she took a swig of milk. Jace looked up at her curiously, not saying anything. 

She looked down into her cup as she let out a thought, “Do you think there’s a way we can ever get him back? Simon, I mean,” she clarified. “There has to be a way, you know? I just feel so guilty.” She knew it sounded pouty, but she couldn’t help it.

Reaching across the counter to place a hand on her knee, Jace tried to give her an honest answer. “I don’t think… You know if we could…”

“Yeah, I know.”

Before anything else could be said, there were footsteps in the living room. Clary’s eyes widened at Jace, filled with the assumption that they had awoken Luke. “But we were so quiet!” she exclaimed under her breath. The footsteps got louder and a familiar hand appeared on the lightswitch. The room filled with light as Jocelyn stepped through the door frame.

“Oh,” she said surprised, “I didn’t know you guys were in here.”

Jace flinched, seeming to wonder if he should get up and bolt. Clary stifled a giggle- it was rare to see him get worried. “I just got here… it’s…” he sputtered quickly.

“Oh, I don’t mind. I was just surprised,” said Jocelyn as she walked around the counter. Clary knew her mom was a light sleeper, but was still surprised to see her so awake and agreeable at one in the morning. Jocelyn was almost never in a good mood like this, but it was even more suspicious that she was actually tolerating Clary being with her boyfriend in the middle of the night. 

“Mom, I can explain,” Clary started. “I can’t sleep, and I asked…”

Jocelyn, luckily, cut her daughter off. “Sweetie,” she addressed Clary, “it’s fine.” Jace looked from Jocelyn to Clary, also unsure of what he was watching unfold. Was this the same Jocelyn who, only a few days before, had freaked out on Clary for being a minute and a half late to dinner? Who took extreme interest in Clary’s clothing choices and whereabouts at all hours of the day? 

“Look,” Jocelyn said to the two teenagers candidly, setting her glass down on the counter and bringing Jace back into the conversation. “Luke has made me realize that I’ve perhaps been a little too strict with you. It’s not like you’re going to make the same…” she swallowed, “ _mistakes_... that we made. And I trust you two.” 

Clary snuck a glance over at Jace, who was looking obediently at Jocelyn, and then quickly tore her eyes back at her mother, not wanting to ruin the moment. “That’s not to say there aren’t still going to be rules,” said Jocelyn, “but I think we can cut you guys a little more slack given, well... _everything_ . Luke was saying that… actually, _I_ realized that I couldn’t imagine how heartbroken I would have been to lose _my_ best friend when I was your age and so I need to let you, you know, be together to grieve and…” she blinked blearily, as if suddenly disoriented, and took a sip of the tap water in her glass. “Sorry, it’s too late to have this conversation now, and I’m half-asleep. But we should have it. Maybe dinner or something soon? My point is that I’ll try to be more reasonable from now on.” Then, acting on a slight afterthought, she added, “Unless I have a reason not to be.” 

“Thanks, mom,” said Clary sweetly, before anything else could be said. “I know you just want the best for me. I love you.” 

Jocelyn placed her cup in the sink, and shuffled back to the door. “Love you too. Just turn the light off in here when you’re done. And…” she paused, squinting her eyes and shaking her head, “just try to get some sleep.” Then, with one last glance at Jace, she disappeared into the darkness of the living room and slunk off to bed. 

Clary and Jace looked at each other in disbelief. “What. Was. That?” he whispered. 

“I don’t know,” she responded. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and uncrossed her legs, then slid off of the counter. “Let’s just not put it to waste, though.” She hurriedly put their cups in the sink and ushered Jace back to her room. 

Pulling him into her bed, she got under the covers for the second time that night. They wiggled around, settling in next to each other and winding up with Clary’s face nuzzled into Jace’s left side, his arm wrapped around her while his fingers started to trace circles on her right hip where her t-shirt rode up. Clary let out a sigh, finally comfortable in her bed for the first time since she’d been back. Her eyelids started to droop almost automatically as she listened to Jace’s slowing heartbeat beside her. 

Jace mumbled suddenly into the darkness, “Of course you’re wearing socks, Fray.” 

Half-asleep, all Clary could do was reaffirm his comment with a soft, “Hmmph,” and soon they both were fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! And thanks for all the sweet notes and kudos - it really helps me stay motivated to keep writing. Definitely give this story a follow and a like if you want more... hope all is well with everyone and that you enjoy!


	5. Family Ties, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace & Clary prepare for dinner with the parents, Alec tries to get Izzy's mind off of her heartbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. Thanks again for reading this story and leaving all of the kudos and sweet comments. I know this is a crazy time, so if I can give just one person some Shadowhunters fluff to escape to for a little bit, that makes me happy to keep doing this. All the best! xo

“Hey, Iz!” called Clary, dangling on a rope knot below the beam Izzy had perched herself on in the training room. “Can you give me a hand?” 

Izzy stifled a laugh. Clary, who’d started her Shadowhunter training only months before, was more than capable of _physically_ ascending a rope, but she still had trouble trusting her abilities when thirty feet in the air. Before Izzy could reach down a hand, a voice came from even further below. “Don’t you dare help her, Iz! Clary, you just gotta trust yourself. We all know you can do it,” urged Jace.

“He’s got a point,” piped in Izzy, deciding not to reach down a hand. “‘Cause what happens when a demon is hurling at you and we’re all off in other directions and you didn’t put on your Fearless rune that morning and you need to climb a pipe to a roof or something, but I’m not here to help you up?” 

Izzy heard Clary grunt as her tiny hand emerged onto the beam, clawed onto the beam from below. Izzy stepped back to make room, and suddenly, with one swift swing, Clary was on the beam. Then, breathless, she said, “If the demon is the one chasing me, I _wouldn’t_ climb a rope or a pipe. I’d get a lead on it and throw a seraph blade.” 

Izzy rolled her eyes. “You don’t always get to _choose_ like that. But if it happens, promise me you won’t second-guess yourself? I mean… you saved the world and all but I worry when you doubt yourself… NO, screw it! You saved the world and you’re Clary Freaking Fray and you can do a pull-up forty feet in the air any day of the week! Sorry. Get used to it.” And with a huff, Isabelle plopped down onto the beam, legs dangling in the air, subconsciously. Both girls wore training gear that covered them in a breathable black fabric, although Clary had _finally_ convinced Isabelle that mundane sneakers are far more practical for training than gear boots. As Izzy’s black Nike sneakers swished back and forth, Jace laughed from below.

Also wearing training gear, he stood with arms-crossed underneath the beam. “You hear that, Fray?” he called up to Clary playfully. “We all know what you’re capable of now. The bar has been set.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I know. I’m cool now,” said Clary. “What’s next? Shooting an arrow mid-flip on the descent?”

“Is this the part where Jace makes a joke about you being Cupid? Because gross,” interjected Izzy.

“Cupid isn’t real anyway,” refuted Jace, “and actually, I was going to suggest a flexed arm hang for at least two minutes before we let you off the hook for the day.”

“Shadowhunters are so weird,” muttered Clary. Brushing off the tough love, she turned to her friend beside her. “Can you spot me?” she asked Isabelle.

Isabelle nodded, her long, dark hair flowing behind her. Clary lowered herself down from the beam, ignoring the burn in her slim-but-growing biceps as she took the pull-up position from the beam. She tried to focus on her breathing like Jace always reminded her, but she couldn’t help but squinch her eyelids and clench every muscle in her body as the weight of gravity bore down on her body. Sometimes she suspected in these exercises that Jace was letting the clock run a little longer than he promised her, but it’s not like she could count when she was literally holding on for her life. 

A few seconds in, Jace’s voice called up to the girls from below. “Hold on - Alec is calling me,” he announced. “Izzy, you’re in charge of training!” 

Clary could hear Jace’s words and vaguely sensed him leaving the training room somewhere below. Suddenly, there was a patting on her hand. “You’re good. I think it’s about time.” With an exhale, Clary summoned all of the strength inside her and lifted her upper body onto the beam half-gracefully. She was covered in sweat and had to brush some stray hairs out of her eyes as she took a seat on the beam next to Izzy.

“Hey, good job today,” said Izzy. “It’s not easy keeping up with Jace. I know that.” Isabelle was always honest, speaking with the bluntness of a New Yorker and the conviction of a Shadowhunter. Clary nodded, assured. 

Suddenly, Isabelle’s body language shifted dramatically. She shifted her weight further towards her back and her face lifted with excitement. Seeing Izzy perk up like this was like seeing the old Izzy return, if only for a second. “So… dinner with the parents?” Isabelle pried. “Jace told me that he’s ‘kind of nervous’. Seriously. This is such a big step for you guys... especially after that whole we-might-actually-be-siblings thing.”

“ I know,” agreed Clary. “I think it will go well. But, I just hope my mom and Luke won’t go too hard on him. He’s proven himself over and over, and I just don’t want to have to deal with... well, you know. My mom is... and Luke is _so_ protective. But I think this time they’re really calming down.” 

Isabelle nodded in understanding. “I hope it goes well. Then, maybe you can hang around here more often without worrying about stupid curfew. I mean... it’s just not safe for you to be heading home in clothes soiled with demon venom just because you’re worried about what your mom will think of you coming home in different clothes.” Isabelle sighed at the memory. “But trust me- I went through all of this parent-approval stuff with... Simon... and other guys too. Lots of them, actually.” Isabelle waved her hands dramatically and shook her head, as if wishing she could erase the words that had just come out of her mouth. “What I mean is... parents usually come around once they see how happy and safe you are when you’re around the guy you...” Isabelle swallowed, “love.”

Clary reached out to Isabelle’s hand, taking her friend’s hand in her own. “That’s really great advice, Iz. Thanks,” said Clary delicately. 

Isabelle met Clary’s eyes. “I am a little worried about one thing for you, though.”

“What?” asked Clary, confused. Isabelle laughed at Clary’s sudden panic, and explained what had happened in the library that morning. 

* * *

Alec had come over to the Institute for the night. He had told Isabelle that he had to do some research in the library, but Izzy was pretty sure that Jace had asked him to come and keep an eye on her while he and Clary and Maryse were gone for the evening. Isabelle’s damp hair was splayed out on the sofa in the Institute’s living room after her warm, post-training shower. She had changed into comfortable clothes, and was prepared to coax herself out of a night of sulking with some sort of movie when Alec strode into the room and plopped down on the other sofa. 

“Haven’t seen you in a while, Iz,” he remarked, his blue eyes looking at her concernedly. She knew that he had been wrestling with guilt, that the aftermath of Edom wore on him heavily, too. He had told her, time and time again, how sick he felt that he had gotten to walk away with the love of his life at the sake of her losing Simon. It wasn’t fair - but she would never hold that against Alec. Izzy was the first to remind everyone who looked at her with the same pity in their eyes that Simon had been the one to volunteer himself. He was a hero, sacrificing himself willingly so that others could be happy. Izzy didn’t like it, but she had to respect his choice. She had to live with it, even when Simon got to forget.

Izzy knew that her tears wore heavy on her big brother, who would do anything to make her happy. She felt obligated to assure him that she was okay, but he could read her better than anyone. It was exhausting, and when Alec had finally given her some space, it had been a relief, not having to work so hard to pretend anymore. She wondered if Alec had spent the past few days away from the Institute because he finally thought she was better, or because he couldn’t bear to look in her eyes another day and see her pain, knowing the chain of events that put it there. Summoning the most cheerful tone possible, Isabelle responded to her brother. “Yeah, I know. How have you been?”

With a sensitivity that still shocked Izzy to see him wear, Alec shook his head. “You know," he alluded, speaking as if with a lump in his throat, disillusioned, “it’s hard.”

“It is,” Izzy admitted. “I know.”

“I know you do,” he responded. “You must miss him so much,” Alec started expressively, but Izzy interrupted him.

“Stop,” she warned. “I can’t do this with you right now. Can we just...”

“Of course,” he agreed quickly. Swiftly shifting subjects, he adjusted the hem of his sweater awkwardly and brought up the latest Lightwood family drama. “So... _mom_ is crashing dinner with Jocelyn and Luke? How did she even find out?”

Happy for a change of topic, Isabelle relaxed, sitting up a little more on the sofa. “It was so crazy,” she said, “I’ve never seen mom so... jealous. I mean - you know mom. She can’t bear to think that Jace wouldn’t have parents to do stuff like that with. And especially now, she’s _so_ on edge and when she heard Jocelyn was setting all the rules, she went into full Mama Bear mode. She just decided she was going.”

Alec snorted, looking at the ceiling. “Because she’s always taken an interest in her children’s love lives before.”

Isabelle laughed shortly at her brother’s comment. “Well, I think she’s realized it’s different this time. For Jace _and_ you, I mean. It’s not like she ever needed to get to know Meliorn or whoever Jace or I were hooking up with before. I think it’s finally hit her that future _grandchildren_ are on the line here. That Clary and Magnus aren’t going away.”

“Really?” asked Alec with added interest. 

“Oh, yeah,” said Isabelle. “She keeps asking about you and Magnus, by the way. I think with the divorce, she’s just looking at everything with fresh eyes. She’s... different. In a good way, I think.”

“Oh,” said Alec, sort of stunned. “That’s good.” 

“Yeah,” agreed Isabelle.

“I guess things really have changed,” mused Alec. Suddenly possessed with an idea, Alec stood up, looking excitedly at his sister. “Let’s go out. Tonight. Just the two of us - for old time’s sake.”

“No,” corrected Izzy. “For old time’s sake would be me and _Jace_ going out, dragging you along with us by pretending there might be demons, and then you complaining when Jace and I ditch you for other company.” 

Alec laughed warmly. “True,” he said, remembering with bittersweet nostalgia the person he had once been. “But tonight will be different,” he goaded. “We won’t have to worry about whatever mess Jace has gotten us into, and I’ll try to loosen up, and we can just have fun together. We haven’t done that in a while, Iz.”

With a hiss and a groan, Isabelle relented, realizing that she had nothing better to do. It was really jarring to go from saving the world and traveling through demon realms with your hot boyfriend back to being a normal underage Shadowhunter. “Fine,” she agreed, “I’ll go. But you are buying drinks.”

“Done,” agreed Alec. “Let’s plan on leaving in an hour?” he asked. Isabelle nodded in agreement, but she was already mentally picking out an outfit. It had been a long time since she had gotten to wear going out clothes, and even longer since she had gone out _without_ a maybe-boyfriend. It was, maybe, she thought to herself, the only good part about getting over someone. You had the perfect excuse to wear outfits that made you feel like the most important girl in the room. 

* * *

Jace had hoped for some time alone with Clary on the way over to dinner with her parents. The trip to Brooklyn felt different, somehow longer, with Maryse tagging along in comparison with the way it normally felt with just him and Clary. It was uncomfortably quiet, prompting Jace to keep glancing at Clary as if to say _what’s a whole dinner of this going to be like?_

Jace had never imagined evenings like this as a part of his future. He’d never anticipated meeting someone like Clary, who made him feel more like himself, more secure than ever before. He’d never felt like he deserved love from anyone - not from Maryse or Robert or even Alec or Isabelle. Definitely not from someone as loving and patient and beautiful as Clary. Looking at her, in the doorway of Luke’s, her small gloved fingers on the door, bright red hair tucked into a pale blue knit hat, he knew that he was loved. And whether anyone else approved or challenged their bond, it was invincible. He knew that for certain. 

It was odd to see his mother’s sudden interest in his relationship. Like she had woken up to the fact that Clary made him happier than anything else in the universe. He appreciated that she was trying, but also was so wary of what she might say to Jocelyn and Luke. Angel knows, their tumultuous history was full of old grudges and tension. That made the whole situation even more heightened, and it wasn’t like there was a precedent set for this sort of dinner. He was pretty sure the only time the Lightwood parents had ever dined with one of their children’s romantic interest’s parents had been when Isabelle had dated a visiting Shadowhunter from Prague for a week and the boy's father had come to Portal him back. It was impossible to imagine how this would go, especially with the drama of divorce on Maryse's mind. Jace reminded himself, as Clary’s hand pulled him through the doorway of Luke’s, that at least Jocelyn and Luke, who were in the middle of planning a wedding, might be able to look at his and Clary’s relationship with the same positive outlook and excitement that he felt about it.

Although Jace was always keenly aware that Jocelyn and Luke were skeptical of his charms - unable or unwilling to trust charisma after Valentine ruined their lives - he also knew that he was slowly gaining their trust. It was hard to be patient at all when it came to Clary. To return her home at curfew, to keep things casual even though he knew that she was his forever. But it was good to know that Jocelyn and Luke could see how hard he was trying to respect their rules and to protect Clary and her heart. He knew he had hurt her heart before, what he had put her through the past few months. They were at the start of a new beginning, where love made their lives easier instead of more complicated.

Luke and Jocelyn sat on the couch in the living room of the apartment, clearly anticipating company, dressed in more polished outfits than they did normally. They stood up as Clary and Jace entered the apartment, Maryse in tow. Jocelyn’s green eyes widened at the sight of Maryse. “Oh, Maryse!” she remarked reflexively. “This is an exciting surprise. Will you be joining us?”

Maryse seemed to shrink next to Jace. “Actually, yes. If that’s okay with you. I just figured… you know… since these two seem to be so happy together that it might be a good idea to… get on the same page.” Each word seemed almost cryptic. Jace could feel Clary’s eyes on him, wondering if he could understand the subtext, or if it was just that awkward.

Jocelyn quizzically tried to form a response, but luckily, Luke jumped in. “Of course. What a wonderful idea - I wish I’d thought of it first!” Luke was much better at manufacturing enthusiasm, thought Jace. Years of leading a werewolf pack had equipped Luke with the ability to handle delicate exchanges like this, to think fast on his feet. “How about we start with some drinks?” Luke asked the room, already heading for the kitchen.

* * *

Isabelle had already downed two fizzy drinks before Alec even ordered his first. They had decided to go to Pandemonium, partially for the sake of nostalgia, but also because it was easy to get into without being glamoured. Izzy was acutely aware that Pandemonium was the first place she had ever seen Simon, but didn’t allow herself to think it fully. _He didn’t even see you!_ she chastised herself internally, shoving all thoughts of Simon out of her mind.

Alec and Izzy stood by the bar, drinks in hand, not yet ready to join the dance floor. Izzy had decided on a glittering, long sleeve top and flowing black pants. The top was tight and cropped, but the neckline came up high, and just through the see-through fabric, her ruby pendant shone through. Alec hadn’t changed, insisting that his holed-as-usual, thick sweater was appropriate for a night out with his sister. 

“So,” Izzy started, eyeing her brother mischievously. “What’s going on with a certain warlock that made you want to come with your crazy little sister out to Pandemonium? Trying to make him jealous or something?” Izzy sipped her drink, one arm on the bar. 

Alec squirmed uncomfortably. “No, it’s not like that,” he said, sipping his drink quickly as well. 

“Oh, come on!” Isabelle shouted loudly over the music, the taste of her strawberry cocktail still in her mouth. “I _never_ could get you to do fun stuff like this with me before!”

Alec laughed uncomfortably. “I guess it’s… I don’t know…” Alec started. Izzy leaned in, straining to hear him in the loud club. “I’m finally in this insanely stable relationship and I love my life. I just feel _so_ guilty that you don’t have that too. And I guess I’ve realized that there’s more room in my life to have fun. In general. And I’ve realized that sometimes the most important things to spend time doing aren’t -you know - about following the Clave rules or whatever. It’s important to look after and spend time with the people in your life that you love. And, I’m just so worried about you - and Mom and Dad - all the time and…”

“Stop,” interrupted Izzy. “I hate when you make this about me. I’m happy for you. Like _so_ happy for you.” Izzy reached out to her brother’s hand reassuringly, looking into his eyes. He looked so sick with guilt. “Alec- remember all those nights we spent in my room? You, agonizing over hiding your true self from everyone else? I’m just _so_ happy that my amazing big brother finally gets to be happy. That someone finally made him realize how awesome he actually is on the inside. You deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks, Iz,” responded Alec warmly. “So do you, though,” he added. 

“I know,” she said, tossing back a lock of soft, black hair. She cleared her throat, and put her drink back down on the bar. “So, are you going to help me find a rebound, or what?” 

Alec laughed. “Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you so determined to get in trouble.”

Isabelle blinked, then responded boldly and loudly. “Nope. Lewis doesn’t get to just forget me and expect I’m going to lay around pouting all day. That’s not me. I’m ready to break hearts again!” she declared, maybe a little too loudly.

“If you say so,” agreed Alec. “Okay, him. Mundie. Right corner in the blue shirt.” Alec pointed with his glass to a boy with puffy blonde hair awkwardly dancing to himself on the edge of the crowd. 

“Yeah, definitely not,” replied Izzy snarkily. “He sucks at dancing and he’s wearing a wedding ring. Really?” Alec shrugged. “Okay, what do you think about that guy? Werewolf? In the blue?” Isabelle pointed to a tall, muscular redhead on the other end of the long bar. He stood closely to another male werewolf, both nodding to each other in a conversation. 

Alec chuckled warmly at Isabelle’s side. “He’s gay, Iz,” said Alec. 

“What? Are you sure?” Isabelle asked her brother skeptically. Before he could respond, the other werewolf leaned to whisper into the redhead’s ear, causing the redhead to stroke the other man’s hand tenderly. “Ugh!” exclaimed Isabelle, frustrated. “Why do you always have to be right?” she asked Alec.

He shook his head at her. “Okay, well… what about him?” Alec gestured to an elegantly dressed man in the center of the dance floor. He was a mundane and his face was lit with a wide smile. His chestnut colored skin glistened with sweat and as his body responded to the rhythm of the thumping music. Isabelle couldn’t help but smile, and glanced at her brother. “Perfect,” she said, and left him to go join the dance floor.


	6. Family Ties, Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second half of the last chapter, featuring the Maryse/Jocelyn/Luke dinner party and some Alec & Izzy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sitting down to write this chapter took way longer than anticipated, but I really had fun with it! Anyone else just completely consume the "We Jace You a Clary Christmas" specials even though they've read it already on Cassie's website?! Well, I try to stay as canon compliant as possible, so if you're looking for some more Clace, it's in here. I might also do a holiday one-shot this weekend? Let me know if you're interested! And don't worry... SIZZY IS COMING SOON!

“She was the  _ clumsiest  _ baby!” Jocelyn exclaimed animatedly. “Always stumbling off of things… one time at the lake, she fell into the-”

“Mom, stop!” Clary protested, unable to hold back her laughter.

“I’m just saying!” responded Jocelyn. “It’s so funny to think of Clary as this successful Shadowhunter. Though I suppose it’s my fault for her clumsiness, never enrolling her in sports or anything.”

“Well,” added Maryse, “you should see her in training lately. She’s quite the Shadowhunter.”

Clary was still sort of in shock that this conversation, this entire dinner, was even happening. Her whole body felt warm. She looked over at Jace, who sat next to her, and reached over to touch his hand. “All credit goes to Jace. I mean… I could barely walk straight before he started to train me.”

He smiled at her, and she could see in his eyes that he was saying to her  _ Can you believe how well this is all going!? _ He turned back to the rest of the table, still grinning charismatically. “Well, I do love training. But she’s also a great student. I always say - you can’t teach tenacity.”

“That’s right,” agreed Maryse. 

“I’d love to come watch you train, Clary,” said Jocelyn, looking at her daughter from across the table expectantly.

“Really?” Clary asked, wrinkling her forehead. Jocelyn usually tried to stay out of Shadowhunter business whenever possible. The idea that she would, willingly, enter the Institute was definitely a new development.

“Yes,” affirmed Jocelyn. “I mean, I want to see what my daughter is working so hard at.” She looked to Luke casually, and took a bite of her ravioli. Clary suspected, though, that Jocelyn hated to think of Maryse getting to see this whole side of Clary’s life that Jocelyn never did. Or maybe she really was interested - at lot had changed from the beginnings of Clary’s journey into shadowhunting.

Before Clary could say anything, Jace responded. “Yeah, come by anytime. Have you seen the new training room?”

Jace always knew the perfect thing to say, getting Maryse back involved again to talk about the new upgrades to the training room. Clary squeezed his hand in affirmation, and took a sip of water. 

“Sounds so different from the last time we were there, right Jocelyn?” said Luke. 

Jocelyn nodded, then looked back to Clary and Jace. “Well, we didn’t set this up just to reminisce about the old days,” she said, then looked back over at Maryse, “much as it’s nice to catch up. We’ll have to do something just us adults sometime.” Then she returned her gaze to Clary. The gray of her sweater brought out the lightness in her green eyes. Her mom seemed, overall, a million times lighter than Clary had ever seen her. “We wanted to talk about the two of you! Your future!” said Jocelyn happily. 

“Jocelyn, don’t use the “F” word! Let’s not freak out the poor kids,” Luke added realistically.

“I don’t mind,” shrugged Jace, at the same time that Clary said, “it’s okay!” They turned to each other, silently deciding how to proceed. Jace put his arm around her comfortably, and turned back to the parents. 

“We’re both just,” he looked back at Clary with the corner of his eye, “really glad that you can see how important this is for us. We really appreciate your support.” Clary nodded in agreement.

“Of course!” said Maryse. 

Luke nodded. Jocelyn was looking at Clary intently as she said, “Yes, we can see that, for sure.” Then Jocelyn cleared her throat and looked to Luke for reassurance. He patted her shoulder, and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. Jocelyn continued, still looking at Luke, “You’ve both been so respectful of our rules and we can see how much this relationship means to both of you and… well, I don’t want to make things hard on you two. I… we… all of us… we want to trust you more. We  _ do  _ trust you, I mean.”

Luke turns to look at Clary and Jace as if her might say something, but then Maryse begins to talk. “I agree, Jocelyn. Every time I check-up on them, they’re always  _ working.  _ I mean, Angel knows, that’s all Jace has ever cared about, but now, he seems so much happier. More mature. Oh, I’m so proud!” She looked over at Jace and Clary, and adds with a shrug, “I always want to respect your comfort level, Jocelyn, but I’ve never seen any reason not to trust…”

Clary started to tense, but luckily, Luke jumped in to interrupt Maryse, before she could say anything Jocelyn might get upset at. “Yes, so proud! So proud! All of the children have sacrificed so much. They’re true heroes.” 

Clary felt Jace stifle a laugh at her side, and caught Luke making a face in Jace’s direction.  _ Boys _ , Clary thought to herself. Clary looked over at Maryse, who cluelessly sipped from her wine glass, and then to her mother, engaged in eyeing the other woman skeptically.

With a voice of moderation, Luke continued. “I think what I hear you both saying is that… we can loosen up the rules?”

“Yes,” agreed Maryse with another sip of wine. 

“Some of them!” Jocelyn said with a nod.

“We-” started Clary, before a nudge from Jace at her side prompted her to look at Luke, who met her eyes with a wink. 

“Great!” Luke said, turning to Maryse and Jocelyn. “So, I think it’s reasonable to say… curfew is optional? Or weeknights only? Text us instead?” 

“Oh, that all seems silly when we have the two of them hunting demons at all hours of the night anyway,” Maryse says with a wave of her hand. “We can just do what I did with Alec when he was their age. I just made him put on a Tracking rune if he was out late or going somewhere dangerous, and then if I got nervous, I could just check on him. And… if Clary wants to stay over at the Institute after a mission or something, I can just make up a spare room for her and give you a call. There’s no point in making things more complicated than that.”

Jocelyn looked very conflicted, but also intrigued by the tracking idea. Clary didn’t love the idea, but she supposed it was better than having to schlep home all the time. Luke looked from Jace to Clary and back, and then to Jocelyn. 

With an emphatic shrug, he looked down at Jocelyn, rubbing her shoulder with his large hands. “That seems reasonable. For two, responsible young adults. Right, Jocelyn?”

Jocelyn looked up at Clary and forced a smile. “Sure, I suppose that’s okay with me. Is that okay with you two?”

“Sure, mom,” Clary agreed, trying not to sound too excited.

Jace nodded in agreement, looking at her. “That sounds very safe and, of course, that’s always my biggest concern with Clary…”

Luke again managed to step in before Jocelyn was given the chance to overthink. “Great. That settles that! I’ve been meaning to ask about Alec, actually, Maryse. He mentioned wanting to get more involved in improving downworlder relations. How has he been coping with all of this?”

Clary rolled her eyes at her step-father. A perfect pivot, she thought to herself. Soon, the adults became deep in conversations about the city’s politics and gossiping about other Shadowhunters. Clary glanced admiringly over at Jace, in the middle of it all, and noticed him smiling. It felt good, just for a moment, to have a moment of peace.

* * *

“Okay,” said Izzy, flopping down uncharacteristically hard onto the seat next to Alec in the corner of Pandemonium. “That was the worst kiss I’ve ever received.”

“Didn’t look like it!” said Alec encouragingly. He set his drink down on the table next to him and adjusted to sit facing his sister, arm resting on the side of the chair. 

“No, it was,” she confirmed, tossing her long, black hair dramatically behind her shoulders. “And I’ve gone out with a ghost.”

“Okay, well…” Alec tried to think of something reassuring to say to his sister, but she seemed more irritated than upset. Izzy attempted to retie her shoes frustratedly, trying multiple times to untie the knot she’d put in them, before Alec gestured to her that he would do it. She propped her foot up onto his lap before crossing her arms over her body and groaning loud enough for nearby patrons to take note. 

“It’s not that I was expected much. I just - by the Angel! It never used to be this hard to find someone decent who wanted to hook up with me!” Alec could feel Izzy’s whole body tense up. With another careful move, he managed to pull the tie loose on Izzy’s shoe and began retying it for her.

Alec had always wondered what it would be like to see his sister in love. She dealt with her emotions so differently from him; she was always so full of passion, but still so careful to give away control, and so stubborn. He had barely gotten used to idea of Simon and his sister dating, and then all of the sudden, the poor guy was gone. And then Alec had really seen how much his sister cared for him in the way that she grieved. He hated seeing her like this more than anything. He wondered if this was what she had felt like when Magnus had broken up with him. 

“You were in love, Izzy. Of course kissing other guys is going to be sucky. But… you got yourself out there. That’s a good step? And he’s… cute?” Alec offered, looking over at the boy.

Isabelle crunched her eyebrows together and sighed. “I guess.” 

“Do you want another drink, or should we head out?” Alec asked his sister, unsure of what would make her happy.

Isabelle examined her newly retied shoe. Then, decidedly, she reached over for Alec’s drink, chugged it, and looked at him with wild-eyed conviction. “You’re going to dance with me!” 

Alec started to protest, but as Izzy dragged him out of his seat, he really couldn’t protest. She pulled him to the edge of the dance floor. Soon enough, they were both lost in the beat of the music. 

* * *

“You know,” Maryse started loudly, her slightly slurred words making it clear that the wine was having an effect on her. “I never really understood why you couldn’t go after him.”

It was well after the dinner plates had been cleared, and Jocelyn was in the kitchen grabbing another bottle of wine. The dinner had gone well, thanks to Luke’s careful moderation and Jace’s ability to entertain on a moment’s notice. The blonde sat behind the piano, listening from across the room, as his fingers idly roamed across the keys. Clary, Maryse, and Luke sat in the living room area, talking casually. 

“Simon?” Clary asked confused.

“Yes,” confirmed Maryse. “The Daylighter. You know, Izzy really took a liking to him. I’m very concerned for her.”

Clary struggled to reply. “Simon was… I know he really loved your daughter.” She swallowed, and noticed Jace looking over at her concernedly. 

“Simon was the best,” agreed Luke, “but what do you mean ‘go after him’? Asmodeus wiped his memories.” Confused, Luke looked at Clary.

“Right, right, I know that,” agreed Maryse. “But… there must be some loophole, don’t you think? If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years, it’s that there’s always a loophole somewhere, for better or for worse.” Then, she took another swig of her wine, as if trying to suppress some sort of memory. 

The piano’s music faded away, and Jace stood from the piano. “Mom, we should probably be getting home,” he said to Maryse, coming over to place a hand on her shoulder. 

“Oh, yes,” she agreed, just as Jocelyn retuned from the kitchen. 

“It’s been a lovely evening, Jocelyn, Luke,” said Jace with a dashing smile. Clary couldn’t help but feel her own lips quirk into a smile at the sight. “I think it’s time for my mother and I to head back to the Institute.” 

“Yes, it was so good to catch-up,” said Maryse, lifting out of her seat. Jace reached over to the coat rack and handed his adoptive mother her coat. 

“Anytime,” said Jocelyn in a surprisingly sincere tone. “Thank you for coming!”

As the adults inched closer to the door, Maryse struggling to put on her coat, Jace offered a hand to help life Clary out of her seat. 

“That went well,” she whispered, placing her arms around his neck and lifting herself up to kiss his cheek. “Thanks for putting up with my parents.”

“Are you kidding? That was hilarious! I’ve never seen Maryse act so… mundane,” he said. He shook his head, bewildered. “So I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“I don’t know, I was thinking now that we’re allowed to hang out all the time that I should play hard to get more. Maybe I have a dentist appointment or something.” Clary scrunched her eyebrows twice and then laughed. “Yeah, I’ll see you. Will you text me when you get back?”

“You got it,” he said sweetly, and kissed her forehead. “Alright, see you.” 

Clary, somehow, let go of his hand, and watched him usher his mom out the door. As it shut behind them, Jocelyn turned around to her daughter. 

Clary was surprised to see the smile still on her mother’s face, the flush of laughter still on her cheeks. “That was a good idea,” she said to Clary. 

“Yeah,” Clary agreed, trying to do everything in her power not to say ‘I told you so’ and judging on the look from Luke, who stands behind her mother, it would be a bad idea. “Thanks for tonight, Mom!” she said instead. 

Jocelyn smiled, and came over to give Clary a quick hug, before heading to her bedroom. “Don’t stay up too late sweetie!” she chimed, before disappearing. 

Luke let out a long breath and returned to the sofa. “Well, that was something!” he said, pulling out the remote from the couch. 

Clary laughed in agreement, leaning on the chair across from him. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Thanks for your help tonight, Luke. That could have all gone really differently if you hadn’t been there to moderate and everything. You’re the best.”

He just shrugged. “All in a day’s work!” 

“So, what I learned tonight,’ Clary started with a cock of her head, “is that you and Jace are… in cahoots?” 

“You could call it that,” said Luke, typing in the channel of the Mets game. 

“I should’ve known,” she said with a roll of her eyes, and started to head for her bedroom. “Have a good night, Luke.” 

“You too, kid,” he responded, glancing away from the tv over at her just before she shuts the bedroom door behind her. 

* * *

By the time Clary has brushed her teeth and crawled into bed, she’s already received a text. The phone was new, and she pretty much only had Jace, the Lightwoods, and her parents’ numbers saved, so she was almost certain it was Jace.

_ Home, _ it said under Jace’s name. Then, another text came in right after Clary reads the first one.  _ I was thinking on the way home tho. _ Then another text bubble, _ What if there is a way to get Simon back? Something we havent thought of yet? _

Clary thought for a second, and then typed out a response.  _ U have an idea? _ She typed back. 

Quickly, another comes in from Jace.  _ Not yet. But… let’s not stop trying. _

_ We never do ;),  _ Clary responded once again. She was feeling hopeful at the thought, but sleep was already pulling at the edges of her mind. Right before she fell into the the darkness of sleep, she managed to read a final text from Jace. 

  
_ Good night, love. Sleep tight _ , it read. And in her dreams, she dreamed of happy endings for once.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Next chapter coming soon - let me know what you think of Lost Without You so far!


End file.
